Divine Design, Part One
One Man, One Woman, One Covenant: Rediscovering God’s Design for Marriage
From the very beginning, God’s design for marriage was clear: one man, one woman, one covenant for a lifetime. Genesis 2:24 paints the picture plainly—“A man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This is not casual language. It speaks of permanence, unity, and deep commitment. Marriage is not merely sharing a bank account, a calendar, or a home; it is becoming one—spiritually, emotionally, and even physically—operating as a unified whole with a shared identity and vision.
In today’s culture, marriage is often treated like a contract. Contracts are built on terms, conditions, and performance metrics. They ask, “What’s in it for me?” and “What happens if you don’t deliver?” Covenants, however, are entirely different. A covenant is relational and God-centered. It invites Him into the middle of the relationship. Rather than focusing on personal gain, covenant asks, “How can we serve one another?” and “What has God called us to accomplish together?” In a contract, performance is tracked. In a covenant, love keeps no record of wrongs. God’s desire is not a fragile agreement that dissolves under pressure, but a steadfast promise that endures through both joy and hardship.
The book of Song of Solomon offers a beautiful blueprint for biblical romance and intimacy. Filled with garden imagery that echoes Eden, it reminds us that desire, romance, and intimacy were God’s idea from the beginning—before sin ever entered the world. These gifts were created on purpose and for our benefit. Within marriage, intimacy is not shameful; it is sacred. It flourishes in an atmosphere of trust and safety. When the bride says, “Take me with you… the king has brought me into his chamber,” it reflects security and confidence in her husband’s strength.
That strength, however, must be rightly expressed. Scripture calls men to be strong—but also gentle. Real strength protects the vulnerable. Just as Jesus drove out injustice from the temple, Godly strength defends and nurtures. Yet in the home, strength must be tempered with humility. First Peter reminds husbands not to speak harshly to their wives. A man who is sweet in prayer but harsh at home is missing the heart of God. True strength creates peace, not fear. It builds a home where a wife and children feel safe and valued.
At the same time, marriage calls both husband and wife to humility. Men must soften their intensity when they walk through the front door. Women must temper emotion with grace. Covenant requires intentionality. It is not about perfection, but about effort. Encouraging one another’s attempts to grow builds a stronger union. As in parenting, we encourage what we want to see more of.
A Godly marriage also carries a public witness. Scripture reminds us that a good name is more valuable than riches. Reputation matters. A man may never earn millions, but he can earn respect through integrity, service, and faithfulness. When his name is spoken, does it evoke trust and honor? Does his conduct at work reflect someone who honors his Father in heaven? Godly relationships on earth are meant to point people upward.
Finally, healthy marriages are not hidden. Appropriate public affection and visible honor between husband and wife model security and love for the next generation. What children see honored out loud today, they will repeat tomorrow. When they witness affection, respect, and unity, they learn what safe, covenant love looks like.
God’s design has never changed. Marriage is not a contract built on performance—it is a covenant grounded in service, humility, strength, intimacy, and honor. One man. One woman. One lifetime. And one shared mission to reflect the heart of God to the world.
