Divine Design, Part Four
Prioritizing What Matters Most: Strengthening Your Marriage
What we value, we prioritize. And nowhere is that more important than in our marriage. Like a garden, a relationship flourishes when it receives consistent care, attention, and nourishment. But over time, life gets busy. Calendars fill up, responsibilities multiply, and without realizing it, we begin neglecting the very relationship that once received our best energy. Many marriage problems are actually margin problems—when we are overbooked and overwhelmed, emotional connection becomes one more thing squeezed into an already crowded schedule.
Emotional intimacy cannot grow in constant hurry. The conversations where we feel most heard and understood are the ones not rushed by the clock. Scripture reminds us to be patient, gentle, and quick to listen. But exhaustion shortens tempers and stress drains grace. Intimacy requires energy. Energy requires rest. And rest requires margin. If we want our marriages to grow better year after year—as God designed—we must protect space for connection. That may mean scheduling one intentional time each week together, setting boundaries with work, children, and technology, learning to say no to good activities, and even choosing to rest together. Exhaustion is not a badge of honor; it’s often the enemy of connection.
For many couples, especially parents, it’s easy to shift loyalty and energy almost entirely toward children. While caring for our kids is a calling, it is not our only one. A healthy marriage creates security for children. In fact, one of the best ways to love your kids is to invest deeply in your marriage. Modeling love, commitment, and connection teaches them far more than constant activity ever could.
Intimacy in marriage is multifaceted—emotional, spiritual, and sexual—and each area affects the others. A lack of emotional closeness can diminish sexual intimacy, and spiritual disconnection can erode emotional unity. The Bible presents sex as God-designed and good, but intended for covenant marriage. Within that covenant, sexual intimacy is meant to foster unity, love, and service. Both sexual immorality and neglect of sexual connection can damage a relationship. The goal is not comparison or frequency but unity and mutual care.
For couples struggling in this area, renewal begins with honest communication. It requires empathy, patience, and grace. Sometimes healing involves addressing emotional wounds, physical concerns, or relational distance. Practical steps—such as counseling, medical guidance, or intentional conversations—can make a meaningful difference. Broadening our understanding of intimacy reminds us that connection goes beyond the physical; it encompasses emotional safety, spiritual partnership, and shared life.
Ultimately, good love is worth pursuing. It deserves our time, our energy, and our intentionality. When we prioritize our marriage—protecting margin, nurturing intimacy, and committing to growth—we cultivate a relationship that doesn’t just survive the seasons of life but grows stronger and richer with each passing year.
